TLDR: Due to a confluence of factors (none of which are technical analysis), I believe a perfect storm is likely forming for a monster, historic ER occurring sometime in late January. The initial main factor for this was that COVID issues were causing a delay in the iPhone 12 launch, pushing it into to this quarter, but that led me to discover numerous other factors now making up my thesis. I believe not only will earnings grow, but the multiple could even expand. How to play it: calls dated end of Jan or mid Feb.

Analysis:

Happy hangover day, fellow autists. I believe opportunities are rare to know when an ER is going to blow it out of the water by enough to overcome IV crush based on more than just a hunch, and when they occur once or twice per year you should swing big. When I play earnings releases, I’m almost always just a seller of spreads so that I can profit off of theta/IV crush surrounding the ER (theta gang always wins). This time however, I’ve bought outright calls. Here is what I’m seeing with Apple:

The iPhone 12 delay could mean huge YoY comparisons.

What kicked all this off was that two months ago I realized we could be heading for huge numbers this quarter due to an atypical delay in the launch of the newest iPhone. Typically new iPhones are announced in mid-September with preorders beginning immediately and shipments beginning before the end of the month. However this year because of COIVD delays the launch date got pushed into October. The iPhone 12 preorders began mid-October with shipments a week later, and the iPhone 12 mini and Max began preorders November 6. And that means no sales of the new models counted in the quarter ended Sept. 30 (Apple’s fiscal fourth quarter)as they usually do. This year all of those opening day sales have fallen into the upcoming fiscal Q1, setting up a potentially huge quarter in sales and making for easy YoY comparisons right out of the gate. Here’s a Fortune article on the delay of the launch.

The “super cycle” rumors appear to be true.

As a lover of new tech, I always have to remind myself that the average person doesn’t care about incremental new features as much as I do. So when I heard rumors earlier this year that Apple could be facing a “super cycle” of upgrades due to 5G, I was skeptical. How much does the average person really care about spotty 5G service enough to jump on a new iPhone? But based on reports starting to come out, those rumors appear to be correct. I’ve seen a few articles suggesting a super cycle not seen since the iPhone 6.
Here’s a Yahoo Finance article on Wedbush’s analysis.
Here are some notable quotes from that article since I know we don’t read around here.

"Based on our recent Asia checks we believe the supply chain is anticipating low to mid 90 million iPhone unit builds … a roughly 35% increase from our original and Street forecasts," says Ives, who covers AAPL stock for Wedbush.
Compare that to the firm's expectations for iPhone 12 unit sales over time. Three months ago, Wedbush expected 65 million to 70 million unit builds for the December quarter; it raised its outlook to 75 million units in late October; and in mid-December, it set a "stretch goal" in the mid-80 million range.
Wall Street broadly sees AAPL selling 217 million iPhones in the company's fiscal 2021, but Wedbush's bull case is "north of 240 million units (250 million could be in the cards – an eye popping figure)" that would easily surpass the 231 million units the company sold in its fiscal 2015.
"We have not seen a launch uptrend such as this in a number of years for Apple and the only iPhone trajectory similar would be the iPhone 6 in 2014 based on our analysis.".

Here is an AppleInsider article, although it quotes the same research at Wedbush. Notable quote:

That bump in production would represent a 30% year-over-year increase in smartphone models produced, and is also well ahead of current Wall Street expectations, Ives wrote.

It’s anecdotal, but I personally skipped the iPhone 11 upgrade because I was perfectly content with my XS Max, however I did buy the 12 Pro Max.

The iPhone 12 sales mix:

It’s not just that phone sales will be up on the iphone 12 launch, it’s the mix within those sales. Typically when Apple launches phones they sell more of the of the entry level new phones than they do the premium, because the total addressable market is bigger. That doesn’t appear to be the case this time. As early as September people were reporting that Apple was making more higher end iPhone 12 models than entry-level handsets anticipating a shift in demand, and they appear to have been correct. Last year the entry level iPhone 11s outsold the premium iPhone 11s by a three to one margin. This year almost immediately after launch people were reporting that the premium iPhone 12s were selling as much as the entry models. Since then, there have been reports trickling out that the premium iPhone 12s appear to actually be outselling the entry level versions.

Apple sold out of nearly everything they make for Christmas.

See further below for one of the reasons this may have happened, in both my “macro” and “risks” sections.
Apple introduced a slough of new products from iMacs to watches this year, and they sold out of all of them. The list of sold-out products at Christmas included the iPhone 12 Pro and Pro Max; iPad, iPad Pro, iPad Air, and iPad Mini; MacBook Air and Pro; iMac and iMac Pro; HomePod mini, and AirPods Max. Here’s a Barron’s article mentioning the sell outs.
Apple wearables, I would argue, are now what economists call Veblen goods. These are unique products where the demand curve actually increases as the price increases. This can happen in goods such as wine, where the consumer lacks the knowledge in how to evaluate the product so they take pricing as a signal of quality. But another reason you can get that skewed demand curve is if the product conveys status. One example of this is sports cars. You can buy cars with 90% of the performance of the ultra top end cars for 30% of the price, but that’s not the point of owning them, is it? How often are you really out at the track? Lambo isn’t in competition with $50k sports cars. They could raise the price $50k per car and people who can afford them would just want them more. Louis Vuitton bags and $50,000 Birkin purses are more examples. In fact with Birkin they not only constantly raise prices, they forbid people from buying them. You have to spend a lot of money on other lower tier products before you’re “allowed” to even buy a Birkin bag. This just makes new money women want them even more.
Those are dramatic examples of course and Apple isn’t behaving that way, but Apple just introduced very overpriced, new over-the-ear headphones which cost almost twice as much as the leading competitor, and yet...Apple sold out of every single color in the first two weeks and hit a three month waiting list by Christmas on a product that I would assume due to its high pricing has very fat margins. Apple charging twice as much makes them more appealing, not less, because wearables are worn and thus seen by your peers (and the opposite sex).

The Twitter rumor mill is reporting parts moving at a brisk pace

I can’t track down the things I’ve read here and there on Twitter and I’m starting to run out of steam here, so you may have to do some searching on your own, but people who usually track movement of parts through the companies forming Apple’s supply chain and normally have a good track record with their reports have reported that parts are moving through the chain at a very brisk pace. This is addressed some in the reports on the iPhone supply chain in my earlier links.

App sales are crushing it.

Thanks probably in part to quarantine, app sales have been crushing it and grew ~35% this December compared to ~17% the prior year, meaning sales have grown at twice the pace.

Reoccurring revenue bundle numbers will be announced

The biggest thing I’ve learned from 2020 is that nothing matters more to the market than the narrative surrounding the reoccurring revenue bundle...aka subscriptions. A company announces its cutting its dividend, but then tells you that’s because its going to pour all that money into boosting its subscriptions? The stock skyrockets. Look at Disney. ATT may be able to pull this off as well if it can convince people of that narrative with WarneHBO max and cut its dividend to pour it into content, but that’s a big “if” for them.
Apple launched their new reoccurring revenue bundle this year. I personally signed up for the premium tier and now owe Apple $30 per month for the rest of my life. I was already paying them to backup my phone to the cloud, and now their bundle has thrown me into Apple Music, Apple TV+, etc. I am firmly entrenched in the Apple universe whether I like it or not.
It is these reoccurring revenue numbers that offer the possibility of earnings multiple expansion.

RISKS

Are sellouts due to high demand, or due to COVID-related production problems? I don’t know. Based on the reports I’ve read, some of which have been linked earlier in my post, it sounds like everything is running full speed in China and the supply chain is running at near or above a record clip. One possible risk is that this was not the case earlier this year and thus Apple sold out of things because they hadn’t produced enough heading into Christmas. I personally believe that production may have taken a huge hit early in the calendar year, but by mid to late 2020 this was no longer a significant issue. I also believe that even if sales have taken a slight hit due to production, the market wouldn’t really care. Markets are forward looking. They know COVID has impacted things globally, and even if Apple reports sales difficulties they will be paired with significantly increased guidance for Q2. New reports have suggested that Apple has had to increase its iPhone production plans for 2021 by 20-30% because of strong demand An announcement like that is not a recipe for a stock crash.
Macro factors causing a crash. A lot of people around here appear to be scared of an impending crash. This seems to be based on the simple idea that stocks have run up a lot and therefore must crash. A reversion to the mean is imminent. I don’t see it that way and I think the economy is more complex than that. Just because something has gone up a lot does not mean it’s going to crash. People have been warning of a California real estate crash for 70 years.
I’m a little bit older than you guys (by probably about 10-15 years) and I can remember the market frenzy of the dot.com boom. A lot of people were saying the same thing then, and while they were ultimately proven right, they were very early. I remember seeing another year to year and a half of enormous gains after hearing all those warnings. Of course the problem with musical chairs is that we never know when the music will stop, but I would argue if anything stocks are roughly fairly valued, not dangerously overvalued.
As we go into 2021, we face the following conditions: a vaccine roll out that sometime between now and late ‘21 will lead us into a v-shaped recovery. The Krugman argument for this vision, and The Bloomberg argument for this vision. We also just had the Fed reaffirm 0% interest rates and the continuation of QE. Add to all of that very easy YoY earnings comps for the first two quarters of this year and this is not a recipe for a crash, it’s a recipe for a steady market melt up. Where are the rich supposed to put all their money in a 0% interest rate environment? 0% pushes up the value of all asset classes, and this is especially true of real estate and stonks. Generally speaking, predicting macro economic movements is a losing game, but all of those things combined with the easy YoY comps means I don’t feel the need to be concerned of an impending correction for at least the next two quarters.
A much smaller factor but still a factor, I have seen it suggested that Apple will be among the larger beneficiaries of the stimulus checks going out, although those have not started rolling out until just now so that may have an impact on Q2 if any.
Bad subscription numbers
If subscriptions to Apple One flopped, this could significantly overshadow sales and earnings numbers. I personally feel Apple isn’t likely to seriously miscalculate predictions on a subscription bundle because they have their market dialed in, but I don’t know that for sure.
Sales could have cratered in October
Sales often drop a little in the weeks preceding a phone launch. What if phone sales tanked during the delays waiting for an iPhone 12? That could be bad. I’m encouraged by the fact that iPhone 11 models appeared to still be having good sales numbers when the iPhone 12 was launched (see links earlier in this post), but I don’t really know what October sales look like.
COVID could have tanked all phone sales.
This report says all phone activations generally tanked 23% on Christmas Day. Two thoughts I have on that, that number is for all phone activations, not just iPhones. And two, that’s just for Christmas Day itself. There could be a wide array of reasons activations were down on that one day. To counter that, this report says the iPhone was the best selling 5G phone, even in October despite the phone not launching until the second half of that month. Additionally that article mentions pent up demand for 5G apple phones that sales are likely to be strong going forward.

Technical Analysis

I don’t believe in technical analysis. Charts don’t know any of the things I just explained, and are therefore, in my opinion, useless to me. Maybe somebody has figured out a system for charts to predict the future, but I am not that person.

Price Target

I don’t pretend to know things like that.

Fun rumors

I’m not big on speculative rumors and momentum type plays, but if that’s your thing there are certainly rumors in the air. The most famous of which is the rumor that Apple is back to working seriously on an EV Car. Another is reports are just coming out in the last day or two that Apple is seeing new successes in developing foldable tech. Whether these things will impact the stock price isn’t really my cup of tea, but if it’s yours those are two things to consider.

Is my post an attempt at a WSB pump and dump?

I’m under no allusions that my own WSB post is going to alter the trajectory of a $2.25 trillion company in any meaningful way. That sort of thing may work on a post-IPO company that hasn’t had its lockup expiration yet and thus has a tiny float (aka PLTR or numerous other recent “to the moon” meme stocks) with limited float. (That’s not to say those aren’t great companies or great trades. I’m just sayin’).

My positions:

I’m more conservative than most of WSB. While I love this place with all my heart and love you guys for it, I believe risking it all to chase screenshot-worthy gains is moronic and not the path to building real, long-term wealth. Thus my positions are probably more conservative than you’d expect.
I have 20% of my net worth tied up in Apple via LEAPs. 9/16/2022 AAPL $87.50 calls. I consider this to be essentially stock I hold for the long term. Delta is approaching 1 anyway so they practically are stock. Sometime in the depths of March I loaded up on FAANG LEAPs with the intention of actually holding them for years and then converting to shares. Those LEAPs were a little OTM at the time I bought them. I have no interest in day trading my significant LEAP positions so that’s going to sit there for the next two years.
But I also have put an additional 15% of my net worth into short term calls on Apple to play the ER. I have Feb 19 $130 calls which were about 10-15% OTM at the time I bought them. They are currently ITM. I also have 1/29 $135s and 1/29 $141s.
This puts 35% of my net worth into Apple.

How to get rich

I intend to cash out my short term calls after the ER, and I don’t intend to reinvest or roll them out because I suspect Apple will be fully valued by then and there are better plays out there. I intend to keep my LEAPS because I bought those for the very long term and because at the very least I should hold them until March to hit the long term capital gains tax rate.
I intend to take my profits from the calls and push them into shorting NNOX and XPEV, both of which have significant lockup expirations coming in mid to late February which I believe will significantly impact the stock prices in the short term. I have no interest in shorting XPEV right now, because you guys are crazy as fuck and for all I know EV stonks could all run up another 50% in the next month. Right about the time the Apple ER hits should be perfect.

Criticism

If you think I’m wrong, I would strongly encourage you to comment. I don’t give a fuck about looking correct or saving face but I give many fucks about not losing money. If I’m wrong, I want to know it.

The Most Important Factor

This ain’t my first day around here, and I know that DD is absolutely useless without rocketships, therefore: APPLE TO THE 🌙 🚀 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 🚀 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 🚀 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 🚀 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 🚀 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 🚀 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 🚀 🚀🚀🚀🚀.
Godspeed, fellow autists.

Shout out to u/Misanthropia for the original post — the hive needed more updated art!
This list is current as of episode 234 (2/10/21)
Desus goes by numerous aliases on the Bodega Boys Podcast. These aliases are based on references to pop culture, sports, and hip-hop. The long and ever-changing list of aliases or "AKAs" are one of the many running gags on the show. During an interview with Method Man on Desus and Mero, Desus explained that the idea for aliases was based on the alter-egos of the rappers in the song "Wu-Gambinos" on the album Only Built 4 Cuban Linx... by Wu-Tang Clan member Raekwon. (info via Wikipedia)
Desus & Mero no longer record from Milk Studios (moved indefinitely) and have been recording the podcast remotely from home due to the pandemic. Most of the AKA’s now mention social distancing, hot takes on covid and store closures.

Desus

Desus is extremely consistent with his aliases, almost always presenting them in the exact same order and without any exclusions:
Desus Nice — In a Hot 97 interview on April 13th 2017, Desus explains that people started calling him Desus as a play on his government name, "Daniel", and "Jesus", because he worked miracles with people's computers
Young Chipotle — Desus’ original alias, he explains in one podcast that it originates from when he was broke and buying Chipotle was a genuine treat
Pockets stay fat like Terio (Pockets stay fat like 'here we go') — A reference to viral star Terio, a young, obese African American boy whose videos of him dancing launched him to very brief viral fame. Recently, Desus added the more politically correct and kid friendly “here we go”
Eli Litby — A play on Eli Whitney, inventor of the cotton gin
Boutros Boutros Gully — A play on Boutros Boutros-Ghali, former Secretary-General of the UN, “Gully” being Jamaican Patois for an impoverished area
Slobodan Might-know-ya-bitch — A play on Slobodan Milosevic, former President of Serbia and important player in the Bosnian War
Young Day Party — I believe this was adopted in the summer of 2016 after Desus recounted the story of a day party in D.C., which seemed to invigorate his love for partying during the day
Young Hot Take — He has hot takes, pretty obvious here
Desus H. Fuego — Another moniker to describe his hot (“fuego”) takes on topics
Mr. Nandos with a rando — Nandos is a portuguese chicken restaurant chain which originated in South Africa and is big in the UK and Australia. Rando is slang for random person. Having Nandos with a rando is eating chicken with a random person (credit to u/deweez)
Mr. Mil Novecientos Noventa Y Cuatro en Nueva York — In later episodes Desus rarely adds the “en Nueva York” bit, but it translates to “Mr. 1994 in New York”. "The Knicks team in 1994 made the finals and is a legendary team amongst all Knicks fans who were around at the time. That team got to game 7 of the finals against the Rockets. NYC rallied around that team hard body because that team absolutely embodied NYC to a T with guys like Ewing, Charles Oakley, Mason, Starks, and Derek Harper." (credit to u/Okieant33)
Mikhail Goin-off — derived from former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev (credit to u/GhettoFob) converged with an allusion to losing ones temper in an act of random violence.
The Jouvert Boss — “Jouvert” is a carnival held in Caribbean/West Indian culture, involving a lot of partying
MC Likkle Gungo Pea — Gungo pea is a type of peas (also known as pigeon peas) often used in Jamaican dishes. Reference to his Jamaican heritage (credit to u/hopelessromcom)
"Pullin' up from 40 with your shorty" — Desus will “pull up”, or make a pass at, your girl even when the odds are slim or unlikely, much like a 40 foot shot in basketball
"Don’t talk to me in the Uber Pool, I don’t know you" — Uber introduced a service where you can share rides with other Uber users for a discounted rate. Desus has expressed his reluctance to engage with strangers when he is using it
The original “my plus one got a plus one so don’t make a fuss son” — When Desus shows up to an event with a girl, he brings two, and he's intimating that the host shouldn’t have a problem with that
Desus Rothstein, the Jamaican Jew — Originated around when Mero began his house search in Bergen County, NJ where a number of wealthy people of Jewish descent live. Desus envisions a version of himself who would fit in there
Jermaine Avocado Toast — Desus has gotten more cultured as a result of their success, and as such he has been able to indulge in things usually enjoyed by privileged white people, a stereotypical example of that being avocado toast. This is Desus’ gentrified, hipster persona
Young PA — Possible reference to the sound of small amount of air being expelled from a loose butthole, which is an impression Mero occasionally does (credit to u/jimsternub). This is also a reference to Brooklyn rapper Young MA.
The Ghost of Mufasa — A reference to Lion King, but beyond that I have no idea why he adopted it. Still hilarious though, and the nickname that most often makes Mero laugh
Young Charcuterie without the coonery — Charcuterie is considered very hip and trendy right now, and Desus is again saying he has a taste for the finer things, but is no longer interested in “coonery”, a derogatory term used to describe stereotypical African American behavior
Chile Limon, the left handed reliever for the Yankee’s (Que lo que?) — A fictional persona that seems to be a Latino version of Dock Ellis, who famously threw a no hitter while high on Acid. Chile Limon is also a popular seasoning/flavor with the Latino community
3 Phone Jones — Desus originally adopted "2 Phone Jones" after he reluctantly bought an iPhone to go with his Samsung Galaxy. He then received a Google Pixel, making it 3 Phone Jones (credit to u/ArtSorr0w)
Desus Ex Machina — A play on the common plot device “deus ex machina”, or “god from the machine” in which an unsolvable problem is suddenly resolved by some unexpected intervention. Desus also used to have a tumblr entitled "Desus Ex Machina" (credit to u/hardcore9)
Jay Chuckles — Revealed in episode 55 to be a reference to a now-defunct shoe store in NYC. Did Desus read this thread?
Stanley Cups — Desus' former rap alias, as revealed in episode 53.
The Human Dr. Bronner’s Label (Dilute! Dilute! Dilute!) — A reference to the concentrated soap Dr. Bronner’s Castile soap, which needs to be diluted. I didn’t quite understand how Desus applied this to himself, but it came from a joke in Episode 51 or 52 about Sean Spicer trying to defray controversy surrounding President Trump's decisions
Dionardo DiTrappio — A play on “Leonardo DiCaprio”, the actor, but referencing “trapping”, a slang for selling drugs.
Mr. 240p because I like my Pino blurry — Desus longs for the days of very low resolution pornography. 240p refers to the resolution, which is extremely low by modern standards
DJ Woolite AKA You're listening to Washed FM up next we got 24 hours of — The host of the fictional station “Washed FM”, a fictional radio station that is sometimes referenced along with “WSMK, Smack City Radio”. Woolite is a brand of fabric softener. Desus said multiple times on the podcast that now that he's single and living alone, he washes his clothes with extra fabric softener. As a kid, his clothes would get washed and be hard as nails. Again, he's got a taste for the finer things in life. (credit to u/Okieant33)
The Curried G.O.A.T. — A double reference to Desus’s Jamaican heritage, where Curried Goat is a popular culinary item, as well as referencing the phrase “G.O.A.T”, short for “greatest of all time”
Desus Spicer — A play on the former White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, who is often referenced on Desus & Mero as “spicing up” or “adding spice” to his takes
Jamal Hashburn — A play on Jamal Mashburn, a former NBA player, about Hash
The Bronx Celine Dion — Refers to the fact that Celine Dion is very popular in the Jamaican community, and so Desus is like Celine, but from the Bronx. (credit to u/chefboyardu) This is especially present with foreign and immigrant culture which means he is of mogul or iconic status for the Bronx (credit to u/courtofdacrimsonking)
Wray and Nephew's Nephew — A play on J. Wray and Nephew rum, which has its origins in Jamaica like Desus. Also, Desus drinks a lot, which you probably should have figured out by now. Introduced in episode 58
The Moreno you can't contain-o — A play on "moreno", a Spanish term for someone with dark skin
The Human Meme, Word to Ja — A play on Ja Rule's infamous mistake of believing that the word "meme" is pronounced "may-may"
Young Erewhon — A reference to a bourgeois health food store in LA, which makes this nickname in the vein of "Jermaine Avocado Toast", demonstrating Desus' taste for finer things now. (credit to u/a-1-since-day-1)
The Racist Provocateur — Desus flipped an angry tweet from April 28th 2017, in which someone called him a "racist provocateur" into a new alias
Henrik Bud-qvist — A play on NHL goalie Henrik Lundqvist, who currently plays for the New York Rangers
Nelson Bang-dela — An old alias resurrected in episode 65, a play on South African civil right's icon Nelson Mandela
Sergio Can't-see-me — A play on Sergio Tacchini, an Italian fashion designer and former Tennis player
Vladimir Boofin' — A play on Russian president Vladimir Putin, "boofin" being a reference to smuggling something by sticking it inside one's rectum
The Human Werther's, melting in your mouth — A reference to Werther's Originals, a brand of caramel hard candies favored by old people. Not really sure what this one means otherwise.
Mr. Becks on Deckington — The first time Desus introduced this one, he accidentally said "Mr. Becky's on Deckington" which was an incredible Freudian slip since Desus has been accused of not being into black women, and "Becky" is the stereotypical white woman name in pop culture. This is a reference to Desus always drinking Beck's, a cheap beer he favors along with Heineken. Adding "-ington" to words is New York slang, as Mero explains at some point.
Rikki-Tikki-Squad-bi — A play on Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, a character from the Jungle Book
Greg "Paaa"-povitch — A very meta play on San Antonio Spur's head coach Greg Popovich and the onomatopoeia of spreading butt cheeks apart (according to Mero)
Morris "Say it with your chest"-nut — A play on actor Morris Chestnut
Mahatma Gone-B — A play on famed pacifist Mahatma Gandi
Not Macka B but I got the cucumber — A reference to a viral video in which Reggae artist Macka B raps about healthy food in his "medical monday" series, Desus is unsurprisingly referencing his penis
The juices are pressed but your boy never is — Being "pressed" means someone is applying pressure to you, and no one would do that to Desus. The juices he is talking about are probably the morning drink he has with lemongrass and cayenne pepper that he makes reference to many times in recent episodes of the podcast.
I am the Art, dammit! — Not sure if this is a reference to anything specific or just a Kanye-esque line a crazed creative might yell out at some point
The Don Dada Ganoush — I believe this is a reference to the Meditteranean dish Baba Ganoush, "Don Dada" is Jamaican Patois slang (I believe) for “top pimp” or “big player” and a sort-of homophone for "baba"
No more Cup of Noodles — I don't know if this is a reference beyond the fact that Cup of Noodles is a struggle meal and Desus is no longer struggling
The Prince of Peckham — A reference to Peckham, a diverse neighborhood in London
The Fashion Nova Casanova — Fashion Nova is an online clothing retailer that specifically targets curvy women that Desus and Mero reference pejoratively (saying it's for bottle waitresses), Desus is saying here that he excels at seducing these kind of women ("Casanova" is a term of a man who excels at seducing women derived from the name of Italian Giacomo Casanova)
"William H. 5 Cent, 10 Cent, Dolla... Forget the small change, give me the the big money wine" — A reference to Soca Boys song "Dollar Wine (one cent, five cent, ten cent, dollar)" which apparently was super popular in the West Indies. "William H Holla is something Jay-Z used to call himself back in his hey day. It comes from the fact that Bill Gates' full name is William Henry Gates. Jay-Z used to give himself nicknames back in the day. J-Hova caught on but he used the term William H Holla because Jay-Z also coined the phrase "Holla At Me" and "Holla Back" and just shortened it to "Holla". So put the two together and you have William H Holla. He first said it on the song "Stick to the Script" off the Dynasty album. So Desus took it and made it his own." (credit to u/Okieant33)
The only anthem I salute is Dipset — A reference to the ongoing national anthem protests in the NFL, Desus is saying the only anthem he salutes is "Dipset Anthem" by Harlem rap legends The Diplomats
Mister Sauga, Catch me at Square One Top Left. Mans is marved. (Dont cheese me bro) — Finally a Canadian-centric reference, which makes sense given that the Bodega Boys have performed there multiple times. This is a reference to the Square One Shopping Center in Mississauga, Canada (where Desus alleges his mysterious wife and kids live), and "top left" is Greater Toronto Area slang for "truthful" or "seriously". "Mans is marved", means "I'm hungry" in Toronto slang (credit to u/Fortehlulz33)
Trill Rizzuto, holy cow! — A reference to former Yankees player Phil Rizzuto who would later go on to be a commentator, where his trademark expression was "holy cow!"
Mister Soft Palms because all I do is count checks and jerk off — I don't know if this is a reference to anything except Desus bragging about his lifestyle
"We got OJ, uh purple stuff, soda, and it's me! Sunny D!" — A reference to an old Sunny D commercial (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQE3jWYuGiw), and a play on the fact that people likely used to called Desus by the nickname "D", so "it's me! Sunny D" would be like saying "it's me, Desus!". Also kind of ironic since Desus is not a particularly sunny person (cue Dark Desus).
David Yerp-man — A play on David Yurman, an expensive jewelry company, and NYC slang exclamation "yerp"
Desus-expensive, Desus-Red Bottoms, Desus-bloody shoes — A play on a lyric from fellow Bronx native Cardi B taken from her song "Bodak Yellow"
Smo-a-kim Noah — A play on NBA player Joaquim Noah who played for the Knicks
Andrew Coooooool-nanan — A reference to serial killer (most notable for killing Gianni Versace) Andrew Cunanan
The Junior Energy God, come sit down 'pon me charger — Originally just the "Energy God" until Desus realized that that was fellow Jamaican Elephant Man's aliases. I thiiiink this is referring to the phrase "bring the same energy", the idea that if one is saying something behind someone's back, when confronted by the individual they should stick to their original statements. This alias started after the infamous Desus & Mero visit to the Breakfast Club, in which DJ Envy accosted the boys about a joke they made about his wife. Desus & Mero didn't punk out and therefore "brought the same energy". Someone tell me if I'm reaching here.
Call me PetCo cause I got your bitch-on-freeze — A play on words for the dog breed Bichon Frise
The Topic of Gossip in Syosset (Shout out to 11791 ah ah ah) — Syosset (zip code 11791) is a town in Long Island, NY. it's real bougie and suburban so Desus is saying basically he's got reach and is known not just in the hood but in the wealthy burbs too (credit to u/terminal-chillness)
Grandpa Joe, When you see Charlie you see me don't touch that golden ticket — A direct reference to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Grandpa Joe) and Desus's cats name (Charlie)
Dead Eye Desus (Mornin’ Sherrif) — Dead Eye Desus refers to the 2018 video game Red Dead Redemption 2. The game features a gameplay mechanic called "Dead Eye" that allows the player to slow time to achieve easy head shots and kills. The game is also set in the late 1800's, early 1900's in the old West, which is why Desus typically references a Sheriff after saying Dead Eye Desus. (credit to u/biggak)
Mr. Shopping at StreetEasy with a bad breezy like I'm Yeezy, please believe me — Another one of Desus' tongue twisters, this one is in reference to shopping at StreetEasy, a NYC real estate website with an attractive woman like Kanye West might do
The Black Asiatic who will crack your back like an automatic craftmatic — Added in episode 54 after Desus' continuing gag about "big Black Asiatic men" (often referencing their penises). Here Desus is implying that sex with him (a Black Asiatic man) is very vigorous by saying he will change your posture like a Craftmatic mattress, which is a brand of mattress whose shape and orientation can be controlled electronically
Mr. La Marina in a mesh Merina with a fresh misdemeanor and a cold demeanor — This one is a doozy, but was adopted after Desus mentioned his frequent trips to La Marina (a bar on the water in Manhattan) in episodes released in the summer of 2016. A mesh Merina is a a mesh tank top (I think). The other two parts are self explanatory. Not sure how he always gets this one right without mixing up the words.
The Sheet-Mask Killer (No one could be iller) — A reference to Sheet Masks, a skin care routine some might find to be bougie. "No one could be iller" is a reference to how ODB introduces Ghostface Killah on "Da Mystery of Chessboxin" by Wu Tang Clan (credit to u/atorMMM)
The Black Zack Morris of Port Morris — A take on Zack Morris for his problematic schemes on Saved by the Bell. (credit to u/justic3bon3r) Port Morris is a neighborhood in the Bronx (credit to u/m9rockstar) home of The Bronx Brewery and Bodega Boys Beer
Young KPI — More than likely a reference to the various random office jobs Desus had (KPI = key performance indicator) (credit to u/atorMMM)
Your Personal Desus — Desus sometimes will recite lyrics by Depeche Mode “Personal Jesus” (1989) More than likely this is a play off his main alias (credit to u/justic3bon3r)
The Pelé of Peleton — Pelé (Edson Arantes do Nascimento) was a former Brazilian soccer player and considered one of the greats. Desus is an avid Peleton user so much he deems himself the greatest of all time
Your problematic bae — Desus occasionally says problematic things, but you still love him, hence him being your “bae”. He always ends with this one, followed by an exaggerated kissing sound.
*After Desus's last aka he gives some sort of problematic advice sometimes followed by explosions*

Mero

Mero (u/THE_KID_MERO) is far less consistent with his aliases. Depending upon how smacked he is, he will often exclude or repeat some of his aliases. He also adds them far less frequently than Desus.
The Kid Mero — In a Hot 97 interview on April 13th 2017, Mero explained that this alias comes from the fact that his father and uncle wanted to name him "Ramiro", but his mother vetoed it and named him "Joel". His father and uncle continued to call him "Ramiro", which was shortened to "Miro" as a nickname. When Mero started tagging, he changed Miro to Mero because he found E to be a nicer letter to write (credit to u/atorMMM) as well as he just didn't like how the "i" looked. Also tagging the name "Ramiro" that long would get you arrested
The Human Durag Flap — Mero’s original nickname, and a reference to how hood he is and his uncircumcised status, something that gets referenced very often (credit u/ZeddyG2 and u/chandlersokay)
Curve Gotti — A play on “Irv Gotti”, former boss of Murder, Inc. records
Donovan Mcdabb — A play on former NFL player Donovan Mcnabb, in reference to dabbing, which could have two meanings (smoking THC oil or the dance move created by the Migos)
Trizz Khalifa — A play on “Wiz Khalifa”, but substituting the first part of the name with the slang “Trizz”. Usually said in a fake patois, imitating Popcaan's cry of "Fuck Wiz Khalifa!" at a Mixpak event
SKKRRRT Loder — A play on “Kurt Loder” former host on MTV News and editor at Rolling Stone
James St. Fatdick, I'll Ghost on you shorty — Originated right around the premiere of season 4 of Starz hit show "Power", here referencing the main character James St. Patrick, whose street alias is "Ghost"
Tiger Backwoods — A reference to pro golfer Tiger Woods and Mero’s love for smoking backwoods
“I no fucking baby, I fucking man!” — A reference to the viral video that sent friend of the brand Pioladitingancia to fame
“Check the guest list again because my name is definitely on it, and no I’m not stepping to the side while you check! ” — Not so much a nickname but something Mero might have said back in the day when he was broke and had to lie about being on guest lists to get into clubs
CC Dab-bathia — A play on Yankees Starting Pitchers name, CC Sabathia (and close friend of the brand)
Goldman Shm-achs — A variation of the phrase made popular by Bobby Shmurda and a reference to Goldman Sachs.
Mensch Montana — An alias borrowed from French Montana (who is from South Bronx) and popular artist with the Bodega Boys. They have mentioned his classic Mac and Cheese mixtapes numerous times on the podcast. Also this is a nod to his Jewish family connection; Mensch is Yiddish for "good guy." (credit to u/chefboyardu)
The Da-da-da Dad of the year — A play on a lyric from ScHoolboy Qs song "Man of The Year" (credit u/ZeddyG2). Mero already has three Mero Jr’s and the bodega princess, and as far as we can tell is an awesome dad, thus earning such a title. Confirmed to be a ScHoolboy Q reference in episode 56
Been-Smacked Biyombo — A play on “Bismack Biyombo”, a professional basketball player on the Charlotte Hornets
Di-Yayo Maradona — Reference to Argentinean soccer legend Diego Maradona and slang for coke (credit to u/terminal-chillness)
Dick-in-ya-bae Mutombo — A play on Dikembe Mutombo, former NBA player. Mero now respects the woman’s agency and asks for permission first before entering
Barlos Santana — A play on famed guitarist Carlos Santana and Xanax bars
The Dominican Don Dada — Jamaican Patois slang (I believe) for “top pimp” or “big player”, and as we know Mero is of Dominican descent, hence “Dominican Don Dada”. The phrase "Jamaican Don Dada" is used by the character Lennox in the movie "Belly", which is a classic in hip hop culture (credit to u/a-1-since-day-1) He follows this up with "catch me at Locksmith throwing up on myself". Locksmith is a bar on 192nd & Broadway in Inwood, which is a REALLY Dominican NYC neighborhood (credit to u/terminal-chillness)
Some variation of "swipe my card again, put the bag over it, there's definitely money on it!" — A reference to a familiar experience for anyone who has been broke, in which you lie and act like it's the store's fault when your card gets declined
Romeo Xantos — A reference to famed Bachata artist and Xanax, Bachata being a dance and music style originating in the Dominican Republic. Also the added "Sooo xanny, lemme black out" is a play on Romeo's adlib "sooo nasty, lemme find out" (credit to u/terminal-chillness)
Light-an-L Dutchie "Hello? Is it weed you're looking for?" — Another weed double entendre referencing Lionel Richie and his famous song "Hello"
Papa Sushi, The Dyckman Don — A reference to often-referenced MamaSushi, a fusion sushi restaurant on Dyckman Street in Manhattan
Tom Brazy, your girl got my balls deflated — A boastful play on the Deflategate controversy surrounding Tom Brady and the New England Patriots after the 2014-2015 AFL Championship game
Feel-da-ass Tyson (CONSENSUALLY WITH YOUR PERMISSION) — A play on “Neil DeGrasse Tyson”, a well known physicist
Lil’ Snoozie Vert— A play on the name Lil Uzi Vert. This is also in reference for when Mero actually ‘tapped out’ on Instagram Live
Fry-an-L Messi — A play on Lionel Messi, a famous Argentinian soccer player of Italian descent, and smoking an "L", slang for blunt
Joe Hookah "I dare you! To smoke with me! At MamaSushi!" — A reference to rapper Black Rob's song "I Dare You" that features Joe Hooker on the hook. MamaSushi is a high-end restaurant chain located in New York
Ben Barson my hands are gifted — During the 2016 election cycle, famed neurosurgeon Ben Carson engaged in a brief campaign for the Republican nomination. Mero took to doing impressions of him, exaggerating Carson’s urban upbringing by saying he was “Ben Barson”, in which the “C” was replaced with a “B”, as a Blood gang member would. Unlike Desus, who almost never fumbles his nicknames, Mero has maybe said this one correctly one time
Xaniel Bedingfield — A play on Daniel Bedingfield followed by Mero playing "I Gotta Get Through This" a popular song by the artist Daniel Bedingfield with lyrics that are about Xanax (credit to u/KTTeal)
Some variation of “I’ll open your medicine cabinet and take all of your Benzos” — This is self-referential in two ways: 1. The earlier reference here is to when Mero admitted to Desus that he will unashamedly go through people’s medicine cabinets in order to snoop on their lives and 2. After the boat party story in which Mero got drunk and took some Xanax’s, he added “I’ll take all of your benzos” bit to express how much he enjoys the feeling Benzodiazepines create
The Xandman — This is a play on the musical artist “Scatman John” who was most known for his song “Scatman’s World”, the chorus of which Mero imitates with this name and the accompanying vocalization
Rico Sabroso — Spanish for “Rich Tasty”, but I’m not sure what the reference here is beyond that
Baby Newport — I assume a reference to Newport brand cigarettes, stereotypically popular in urban areas
Niño Brown — A reference to the main character of the film “New Jack City”, in which Wesley Snipes plays a crack dealer named Nino Brown, but pronounced like the Spanish word for "kid", giving it some Latino flavor (credit to u/Okieant33)
The East Tremont Stevie B — East Tremont is a predominately Hispanic area of the Bronx, while Stevie B was a recording artist from the 80’s with some incredible Jheri Curls. Sometimes sings "I want to be the one your Titi is fucking" after
I met Mike Francesca im never gon’ fail — A direct reference from when the Bodega Boys actually met Mike on the last episode on Desus & Mero on Viceland. In translation, this means after finally meeting with the iconic Sports Pope this makes him unstoppable. This is also a reference to Kanye West's song 'Ultralight Beam' where Chance the Rapper says "I met Kanye West, I'm never gonna fail" (credit to u/RemyDWD)
The Plantain Supernova in the Sky — A reference to the Oasis hit “Champagne Supernova”, but changed to reflect Mero’s Dominican heritage, which often uses plantains in its cuisine. Occasionally he will sing an extended version, which goes “One day you will find me, smoking weed on Tremont/in the Plantain Supernova in the sky”. How does he hit these melodies so perfectly every time?
Tom Petty and the Ball Breakers — A play on the rock band name ‘Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers’. Mero sings the chorus from Tom Petty’s solo project “Free Fallin’” as “Free Ballin’” suggesting that he feels free doing his Zoom calls without pants
Barmelo Xanthony — An incredible play on the Bodega Boy’s favorite NBA player, Carmelo Xanthony, and Mero’s beloved Xanax’s. (credit to u/terminal-chillness) Most recently, Mero has changed his references to him making sound financial decisions and balancing his portfolio since the interview with Carmelo himself on Desus & Mero on Showtime
Some variation of “If you see me in Target approach me like a bear” — Originates from Mero’s love of getting really high and hanging out in Target. Being high sometimes makes him paranoid, so he doesn’t like people just running up on him. Desus suggested people “approach him diagonally, like you would a bear”. Mero interchanges “bear”, “Ursine Mammal”, and “Oso” (Spanish for “bear”) at random
Benzo the Clown — A problematic clown for kids that ruins birthday parties and not refunding your $50 deposit. Originated on Episode 96, Desus starts talking about rolling up to Mero Jr’s bar mitzvah smacked. (credit to u/outtaspite) Benzo’s antics are normally cut short by Mr. Fun Fun (voiced by Desus) normally ending with the problematic light
I sold fake Lean to your favorite SoundCloud rapper — Not sure this is a specific reference other than the fact that Lean is pretty much a guaranteed accessory for any SoundCloud rapper and Actavis discontinued their codeine/promethazine cough syrup in 2014 due to abuse, so a lot of people are drinking fake Lean.
"Llego el hijo de Tito y Fifa papi"/"The son of Tito and Fifa has arrived, papi — In later episodes, Mero began to include some Spanish phrases at the end of his list of aliases, usually beginning with this phrase and building off of it. When Mero does this he also says "Hassan tira me lo pita" which is slang for "Hassan drop me a beat". Mero is making pretend that he's a DJ on NY's Spanish Radio Station 97.9 La Mega. Mero from here goes on to talk all kinds of shit about how hard and gangster he is. (credit to u/bobbuddha and u/Okieant33)
Please correct me if you have ideas or see mistakes!
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Discontinued aliases:
Desus

• Young Green Room
• Desus Vice
• Vice-K Matsuzaka
• Kristap Por-sling-dick
• The Human Jerry Curl

Mero

• Blem de la blem
• Young Pap Smear
• Metro Bloomin' Onion (credit to u/raybegleiter)
• Fry-an-L Messi (Mero at one point said this instead of "Light-an-L Messi", he'll probably go back and forth)
• Papi Shampoo
• Lucious Lyon-ass nigga
• David Trizz-Dale

Are stocks going to benefit from the Santa Claus effect this year? What’s the latest news in the stock market? This week earnings reports & more
~Very Long Post~
Hello everyone and Good Morning! So, let’s start with the recap of Friday, as we saw the DOW finish in the green up .16% but closed the week down 0.57%, while both the SP500 which lost .13% on Friday and .96% for the week and the NADSAQ COMPOSITE also down .23% on Friday and 0.69% for the week struggled to recover after a very bad start to the trading day. We also saw the VIX finishing the week at a new high, over the 23 levels, as the volatility index has seen a spike of over 12% in the last week.
You can see that a big majority of the companies were on the decline on Friday, with low volumes, as only around 10B shares traded hands compared to 11.5B shares in the last 20 trading days, as some profit-taking combined with some healthy corrections in stocks have moved the markets slightly lower.
On a factor basis, value plays suffered on Friday, especially small and mid-caps, while growth was pretty flat, with only Energy and Financials lost more than 1% on Friday, as Energy was the only sector to finish in the green this week, up 1,21%, while Real Estate lost almost 3% and Financials also lost almost 2% in the past week.
Here is the HEAT MAP from Friday, not a lot of green to be seen, with the exception of Microsoft, Disney and Toyota.
While for the week, pretty much the same can be seen in the HEAT MAP, as Disney, AT&T, Elly Lilly and Toyota were the only big gainers.
Here is the most interesting economic data coming out this week with Wednesday and Thursday being the biggest ones, as we get a better read on what the economy is doing, while also getting the Federal Reserve latest and last decisions for this year.
Today we get the electoral college across state capitols formally casting their votes, while On Thursday we also get the Moderna vaccine FDA Ad Com voting process and results.
The Fed doesn’t really have many options at the moment, but they can still move to buy longer-term bonds or decide to buy even more than the current monthly allocated program. The Fed is not expected to cut the benchmark rates anymore, as they are already near 0.
So, I think we might start to see some of the Santa Claus effect starting very soon, probably sometime between this week and the middle of next week, as you can see in this chart, the SP500 has posted very good returns in the past 70years on average in this period, but yeah, who knows after what has happened this year.
Also, you can see in this chart, that the big tech stocks have underperformed the market since the start of September, as small caps have outperformed, I think we might finally see some of the big tech names start to gain some momentum once again, especially Apple & Amazon.
I think this might happen as more of the big cash flows that are sitting on the sidelines, might finally start to be move to the stock market.
While on Friday we saw the consumer sentiment jumping more than expected, but is still way down from a year ago. We also got the producer price index for November which rose by .1% and is up .8% year over year, more than expected.
Here are the most interesting earnings report for next week, I am especially interested to see what Jabil, FedEx, Nike (Friday) and Blackberry report.
I think we can see great number from Jabil which will benefit from the iPhone 12 sales, while FedEx, the largest parcel delivery service in the world is on watch, as they are considered a proxy for the global economy. With Nike also expected to report strong numbers with an increasing number of physical stores re-opening and a strong boom in direct-to-consumer business.
Guys, Disney saw a huge pop in the stock after a great investor day, but i won't go into more details as i have previously posted about them.
I also wanted to mention this, but I guess you already know this by now, the FDA gave the green light very late on Friday while the CDC also formally signed off in the weekend.
The first deliveries of vaccines are expected to reach more than 150 state locations today with another 450 locations in the next couple of days as the vaccine began to be packaged and shipped on Sunday morning. So yeah, I guess we can keep the tradition of Vaccine Monday going. If both the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines will be available, with the US just exercising the option to buy another 100M doses from Moderna, the US is aiming to vaccinate 20M this month, 30M in January and another 50M in February, that would bring the total to over 100M people.
Walmart has started to mobilize to help with the distribution, while CVS also has plans to begin vaccinations starting next Monday.
Guys, just wanted to mention that I came across this tweet, I think it pretty much sums up the latest IPO frenzy that we had with Doordash and AirBnB, with both in my opinion starting trading at insane valuations, that aren’t really justifiable.
The big IPOs this week, had a big influence on the markets, as investors probably had to sell a lot of stuff to buy into DASH & AirBNB, this might have led to an imbalance in the markets. As people who used market orders were forced to sell stuff to fund the buying of these 2 highly overvalued stocks in my opinion.
Just look at this chart, as the average first-day return for IPOs has seen a huge spike in the last year, with an average of 37% first day return this year. But, just look at the % of IPOs with negative earnings also increasing since 2010, that just doesn’t seem to bother investors, as they are looking for fast growing companies that don’t emphasize earnings.
Just a fact, AirBNB became only the 3rd tech company to open with a market cap over $100B, the only others ones being Alibaba and Facebook.
After this 2 crazy IPOs some of the next companies that planned to start trading last week, Affirm and Roblox, delayed the plans, as this companies seek to determine the right price for the shares and the right company valuation with advisors, so they don’t leave money on the table like AirBnB and Doordash have done last week.
My opinion is that if you don’t like these high-flying IPOs, don’t short them, just avoid them and buy stocks that you really like and expect to have great growth
We also saw a report from The Information, which is not actually doing any reporting of any specific deals, that presented their next logical M&A deals, this led to the stock of Dropbox to spike almost 14% including after-hours trading and MongoDB to gain more than 6% on Friday.
Other news came for videogames and video gaming consoles which saw a record $7B in sales, over 35% more than last year, bringing the total to over $44B for the year, with more than $1.4B spent on news consoles from Sony and Microsoft just in November.
While in the EU, Brexit talks keep getting extended time and time again as the EU and Great Britain still are trying to figure out some sort of a deal.
We also found out what companies are getting kicked out of the SP due to the inclusion of Tesla and that the latest shutdowns for the holidays have been extended more than usual.
Let’s hope for a great day in the market as the FUTURES seem to be pointing at a good open, hopefully some green action continues after that.
Thank you everyone for reading! Hope you enjoyed the content! Be sure to leave a comment down below with your opinion on the stock market!
Have a great day and see you next time!

NYC Frugal Tips

Manhattan NYC is very expensive. Although I make a fairly substantially large income from varying businesses, I am still VERY very frugal. It is a game to me. I can't help it, I enjoy it. Here's what I do, you are welcome to take my tips or even give me suggestions. I'm not counting in any business expenses.
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RENT- This one I cannot avoid. I was "convinced and hoodwinked" by my previous girlfriend into getting a really nice apartment, only to break up a few months later and be stuck with this fat ass rent. I refuse to move out because I love this place so much. Solution? I eventually got a new girlfriend, we split the rent and a lot of the home expenses.
Coffee - Although I love coffee so much, I really just need the caffeine content. I'll either buy my own coffee grounds from amazon, or I'll take a caffeine/theanine capsule occasionally. If I really need the energy and productivity I'll take 100mg (a half) of Modafinil prescribed by my doctor for free. OCCASIONALLY, I'll get a $1 iced coffee from taco bell, they're the only ones that seem to have it this cheap haha. You wont EVER catch me at starbucks or Dunkin, F that what am I rich! haha. My bank Capital one usually has a coffee shop inside, where if you use your capital one debit card you get 50% off. I'll usually flash them my capital one debit for the 50% off, but use my chase sapphire reserve for the 3x points on it, double win.
Clothes - I love clothes as a guy. However I cannot get myself to spend on clothes because I already have clothes. They need to be really torn and tattered or holy for me to replace them. I'm embarrassed to say this, but I'll find great clothes of brands I like on ebay or poshmark, second hand. RARELY will I buy new or in person. I HATE paying retail for anything. My parents always insist on gifting me something for bday or xmas, I'll always suggest shoes and underwear. The other day I walked by a Levis store, my GF makes fun of me for always having a hole in the crotches of my pants, I don't know why but this happens to all my pants; anyway checked out some sales, they had 70% off PLUS an extra 20% off for signing up to their rewards card. Too good of a deal at 90% off, I bought some new good quality jeans and pants thatll last me for years.
Alcohol - I've been abstaining from alcohol here and there. Dry January has been extremely productive to me that it makes me never want to go back. I truly don't really miss it. Living in Manhattan, I live near hoboken NJ where there's a beer distributor. Once a month, Id buy a few 30 packs just to keep stocked at home at cheap prices. When I used to throw "parties", I used to buy cheap liquor and pour them into expensive bottles. I began doing this when I realized so many ungrateful people would come to my place, and drink my stuff dry. Well now ya get the cheap stuff ya freeloaders.
Going Out - Prepandemic. I LOVED going out. In manhattan, you have the best of the best in terms of bars clubs and restaurants. Expensive though. Solution? Be friends with bartenders and club promoters and club owners and managers. Pre-covid, Id hang out at this bar called Hidden Lane. My best friend was the head bartender, and my friends worked there as well. Id drink for free all night and so would whoever my date was, Id just tip the staff. Then, I'd go out to one of the clubs with my promoter friends. For those that don't understand this "promoter" term: Nightlife Clubs will literally pay a fat salary to these promoters to bring out beautiful girls and keep them at the "table" and the club would provide free bottles of vodka, tequila, beers, champagne, and even food sometimes. My promoter buddies would text me "hey man come out and help me tonight, so many girls at my table I can't entertain alone". As a single guy, this would be a no brainer, drink for free all night w/ my friends AND get to be around beautiful single women. Being in the city, Id citibike (bike share) to the club or bar, and uber or lyft back.
Food - I don't believe in going cheap when it comes to groceries because the food you eat is your HEALTH. With that said, Trader Joes is insanely cheap. There are only a few things I'll buy organic and buy lean meats, but everything else is for the most part cheap. I'll spend $50 a week, $100 a week for the 2 of us.
CAR - The beauty of living SMACK dab in the middle of Manhattan is not needing a car. I wont even take the subway. I literally citibike everywhere, my annual $160 a year membership is free because I participate in a program called Bike Angels, by inadvertently rebalancing bike stations, Id earn perks rewards and free membership. At the start of the pandemic, I bought myself a 15 year old little mini cooper so I can go on road trips and trips to the beach since things were closed. I paid $2200 for the car, another $1700 on maintenance and preventative maintenance, and $30 a month on insurance, and very little on gas since it's a 4-banger, I hardly use it, but Its there when I need a car as we love to escape the city.
Weed - I like to be very productive and weed doesn't allow that for me. However I occasionally hit my bowl or weed pen, just once or twice before a movie on a friday night. A gram will last me literally MONTHS.
Credit cards- My favorite topic! Credit cards can be a double edged sword. Use them wrecklessly and the 16-24% interest will murder you. Use them correctly, and they are your best friends.
I use the chase 'trifecta'-
Chase biz ink preferred for wifi bills, cell phone bill, shipping, social media ads and get back 3x points per $1.
Chase Sapphire Reserve (the main card)- for 3x on food , dining, transportation, drinks, parking, tolls, etc. I also get 10x on lyft, 15% off lyft, $60 a year on doordash, airport lounge access, and a bunch of other features, $300 travel credit a year, etc . It's a $450 a year card, but after crunching numbers not only does it come out to free, but the benefits greatly outweigh the costs.
Chase Freedom unlimited- on everything else not mentioned above at 1.5x per $1.
Chase Biz ink unlimited - on everything else business related.
Chase allows me to combine all these points together and if I use them through Sapphire Reserve's portal, they are worth 50% more! If you are even slicker you can transfer them to airline transfer partners and find even cheaper flights and better deals. This has allowed me to never have paid for a flight for me or my girlfriend in years, in probably like 6-7 years.
VERY IMPORTANT- I keep it on autopay, ALWAYS pay your balances off in full. NEVER ever pay interest. i always say id rather lose a finger than ever pay interest. I have autopay on a safety measure, I actually pay the balances off once a week usually on fridays and mondays , so I can watch my weekend damage, but also to keep my balance always at zero to keep any balance from being reported to credit bureau's. This keeps my credit score at 800+ which in turn allows me to get very cheap lending for business purposes.
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TAXES - Another important topic. Without going into too much detail. I'm able to create LLCs and SCorps for my businesses and holdings, allowing myself to pretty much expense a good portion of my expenses. I even file as a loss in some cases for some businesses, according to my accountant's strategy. When I "trade up" properties , I avoid paying Capital Gains taxes by deffering into the new investment property , I also max out my IRA for a free tax savings. Taxes are a place where people spend the majority of their income. I have friends that make 300k a year, but really they make 150k a year due to their restrictions to play with tax loopholes as wage earners. Taxes suck.
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Buy ONLY TO REPLACE- This is a little out of place after taxes but I am human and prone to sin and purchases, but I've taught myself to buy things ONLY to replace the current one I have. I want the new iphone (biz expense), ONLY if I trade in my current one. I want the new mac mini m1, again only if I sell my current one on ebay or marketplace, I want the new v11 vacuum but only if i sell my current v8, etc you get the point. This way the trade in value of the "older model item" goes towards paying of the new model item. I also get to live very minimal and own only what I need and no clutter.
Monthly Streaming Apps- Netflix is now $18 a month! F that, we use my girlfriends fathers account. HBOMax and Hulu I group share buy and pay $3 a month. Amazon Prime is the only one I buy annually at retail, I actually do use prime shopping and video though. Youtube is my most prized app. I learn so much from youtube that I need and deserve the ad-free premium. I refuse to pay $15 a month for youtube, so I'll use my sisters college email for a college discount of 50% off. I don't ever listen to music, but we use my girlfriends spotify app on all our echo devices.
Unrelated tip- your internet provider charges you for renting you your routemodem. It's usually $15-20 a month! Buy a compatible used routemodem on ebay for like $20, BAM $240 annual savings.
LIQUIDS- by this I mean shampoo, conditioner ,hand soap, body wash, dish soap, all purpose cleaner, windex, etc. I buy all these by the gallon on amazon. If you do the math it comes out to pennies per FL OZ. I keep them in nice dispensers instead of buying and replacing one time use store bought dispensers. Same for TP and paper towels. I buy in bulk- I try to get TP down to 33 cents a roll, and PT down to 82 cents a roll.
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It's possible to live frugally and still enjoy life. I think one of the most important things is what you do with your free time. You can either sit around and waste time playing video games or whatever your vice is or you can teach yourself new skills constantly that can be useful and worth money in the real world. Money left over from savings goes into stock portfolio, ROTH IRA, index funds, investment properties, or reinvest in my businesses. Skills pay the Bills!

I've stopped purchasing on the Playstore and I stay away from it now because

1. Google Play allows app developers to pay people to leave positive reviews (developers use Micro Jobs to do this. Despite it being against their policy.

How do I know this? Because I used to do Micro Jobs 6 odd years ago when I was bored at home..there are a LOT of micro jobs for leaving fake reviews. How it works? Theres a big list of jobs you can choose to do, IE proof read this article, download this app and come back and tell me in 120 words what you think, leave comments on selected YouTube videos, upvote YouTube videos, download an app from the Playstore and leave a 5 star reviews that says "X=Y", go to this website and click this link...ect.

1. Google Play is allowing tons and tons off apps that are potentially dangerous to the user or are known to be dangerous to the user multimine

check out the reviews, again inundated with fake 5 star reviews and not a single real review about the app actually paying out, so what is the app collecting and sending from your phone? The developmers have the same tactic which you can see in the reviews. They pretend that you're mining ETH/BTC and not a single real person has gotten paid and the BTC that people do mine, it disappears all the time so people cannot get enough to withdraw, it's all wirtten in black and white in the reviews.
Pi Network
this has been proven time and time again to be a scam , just have a look through reddit
World News: Breaking News, All in One Feed Reader
This app developer is extremely dodgy and rude ( I've got an email trail with him). His app has gambling links in it and when you open the app a full screen ads pops up advertising his gambling website, without being able to get rid of it till its done. It is a paid app that has no ads. But it does ;) he specifically makes sure there isn't ads in this version because it's the paid version. The free has ads...but* now he's changed his Playstore app page to 'contains ads'. It doesn't contain ads from his AdSense account..he uses his own in app ads (code) to advertise his gambling website to everyone from kids up. The website is also a legitimate scam. ( I've written to Google extensively about this guy and forwarded our emails to Google as well as all the proof, Google said they'd look into it and months later they struck his app down, but only the paid one..then a few days later, he's got his app back up. He just needed to change a few backend code to comply with Google....thing is, he hasn't changed anything! His full screen ad to his scam gambling website are still all there. And who knows what his apps even sniffing out*
PHT cloud earning
This one is a scam that's collecting your data and promising kids a rich future in their fake crypto currency
Fair Go Pokies online
This is an actual gambling app that's rated for 3 year olds. I have reported it many times for months, other people have aswel, yet Google seem think Gambling apps are fine for 3+ year olds, Google have been informed about this but Google WILL NOT enforce their own policies on its developmers which is harming kids and our privacy
This is just a few off the top of my head. All these apps have extremely concerning reviews. Also all the positive reviews are all extremely fake.
How do I know they're fake? Well like I said earlier, I used to do Micro Jobs and it's full of jobs asking to leave positive reviews on their Google Play store app. If you have a look at the positive reviews in every single one of the apps I posted, you will see that all the positive reviews are exactly the same (minus a few purposefully placed grammatical and spelling errors), all say the exact same thing pretty much and look how people post the same emojis along with very similar, almost word for word reviews.
I've reported the reviews many times on these apps. And none of the obvious fake reviews have ever been removed. I believe Google to have given up on the Playstore all together. There is like 80/20 of apps that are very suspicious or are definitely fake and scans 80% Then there's 20% of real apps.
I have checked a lot of the developers out over the course of my research into this and found that most 90+% of these apps come from Asia, specifically India. Nothing against India the country, but the people are absolutely appallingly when it comes to scams. We all know that Indians are the biggest scammers, so why isn't Google doing anything about these apps? And why isn't Google doing anything about the massive amount of Indian scammers on their Playstore, let alone all the other people who are posting useless apps that aren't tested. Google is more interested in bringing in the developer fees rather than the community who buys the apps.
Most of the kids games are literal gambling apps by definition. All these free games that are not games, but money printing machines for the Devs. Put out a free app and then make it near impossible to continue after level 10 unless you pay massive prices for coins and such. Today's kids are having their gaming experience ruined by greed and their childhoods taken away from them unless they pay to progress. Do I think kids should just play games all day? No, I believe they should play outside and explore the dirt. But as a gamer myself, I believe kids should be allowed to spend hours playing video games too. When I was a kid, I'd play donkey Kong country for hrs and no paywalls to continu
I used to run my own online business a few years ago now and I used to market through Google ads, this opened me up to a magnitude of scams from Indians. Every single day I could guarantee I would have one cold call me, claiming to work for Google, wanting me to sign up through their marketing platform. Which kind you again, they claim they're working with Google.
1 of those calls was an actual person working for Google... Well actually he didn't work for Google, although his email signature says he does, he says he does and his company says they do. However, they are working contracted to Google. What they really are is just a call centre in India, that Google has outsourced their Adsense to. I confirmed he was a 'google partner' by checking out his partner id against Google's partner id check.( this is just way of saying they're a telemarketer that's contracted by Google to bring in sales to their Adsense.)
This guy wouldn't leave me alone, called me 3 times a day to try get me to put more money into my marketing, then he wanted to take over my account so he could manage it...this guy was full on trying to rob me of every cent I had. (He didn't get anything)
Every day/week the Playstore top 10 is the exact same apps. Intact they really haven't changed in a couple years. Google's Editors favourite apps, is always only ever the same apps that have paid to be Google's Editors favourite.
I left apple 8 years ago for Android...loved it! But today I feel like my expensive phone is an expensive spam farm because Google have drop the ball. I feel I miss apples clean look and lack of rubbish. Their app store is dynamically changing. I don't want to go back to apple cause their phones suck..but I'd rather an iPhone right now than be inundated with rubbish apps and nothing but fake review after fake review.
Google doesnt care about the Playstore and that's evident by my evidence in this post.
Google has allowed for almost a year now, for this one specific Gambling app aimed at kids, to exist on their store. The store is full of apps that are completely useless and apps that are so bad, they shouldn't have even been able to make it on to the playstore.
Just look at this what sort of app store is this when it allows crap like this.
Why am I writing this?
Because I'm done working for free for Google, doing a job they should be doing. But nothing I do changes anything, no matter how much you report, Google doesn't do anything. So I'm hoping maybe someone will see this and sort this shit out. Why not even have an algorithm that flags an app as a potential risk automatically when it's received X amount of 3 and blow star reviews ÷ the amount of downloads. When an all flags, you can check it out, this would solve the mass amounts of reports because you won't be having to sift through them, you'll just need to check the app out that's got flagged.
I know this is super long, it's so long that I cbf writing a TLDR because I believe it needs to be read as a whole.
And fix the top apps..how is there two QR readers in the top 8? How TF is Australia Post app in the top 20?
And Service NSW #1? 🤣
how TF is this even in the top 50 when it's rating is 1.8 stars
Why arent apps like these ones in the top ever? fuel meter
Motion Ninja
My Budget Book
Soul Browser
Pulse Messenger
Simpan
Easy Join
aCalander

VUZI $11 making commercial a/r glasses Apple keeps promising (pretty sure smart glasses are going to be a hot theme over the next decade & replace your cellphone)
IMMR $13 haptic (vibration effect) for games, cars & I suspect physical rehab soon
ARLO $9 - HOME Security cameras..they look like they are an AAPL product already.
Imho,AAPL is at the point they need to buy real growth..
Tim Cook seriously missed the boat buying tsla (could have bought tsla. X2 with money wasted on stock buybacks)
Tim Cook missed the boat to buy out VUZI @ $2.. - AAPL is very aware of VUZI.
VUZI glasses better than Google glasses that's why they captured commercial accounts.. & likely they will take ifone market from aapl with glasses.
IPhone=ifone now that the cheapies $400 ifone is with Kia...im sure the Kardashian's are impressed!
SONO $29 -varieties of home speakers
VBIV $3 variety of pipeline products
You will see a re-occurring theme in stocks I buy. & why I HOLD. These stocks will be $25-40 before Najarrian x2, cnbS or Cramer discover them. -- ARK? where are you?!!
Smallcaps are CHEAP!!!- even Bank of America mentioned last summer,, - they see us emerging to a new world!
& LIKELY the best place to invest for the next decade.. Yes.. We are going to get NEW leadership stocks. - pay attention to ALL of those small caps! Big caps are like trying to date your granny!
Imho, today was the day to exit FAANG,, not likely to beat earnings even more..so longs check out on a high note,, my Amzn was sold today from $700.
I write scan looking for charts I like.. I may get 20 charts.. But I also look at the dd too for each one. Because there is no reason to eat spam steak when real steak & lobster is offered. - I don't want to worry about my investments or what the scoreboard are doing.. My stocks are not part of that club.

Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: $25,000; I didn’t start contributing until last year. I got out of grad school end of 2017, and once I got my first job I focused on saving up a good emergency fund since I live in such a HCOL city.
Savings account balance: $25,000; $20K emergency fund, $5K for car down payment (I’ll be making this purchase soon)
Checking account balance: $1,300; I try to only keep bill money in there + $500 buffer, payday is in a few days so this is low
HSA balance: $3,600; Since I chose the HSA plan at work, my company fills it up to the deductible every year. This is my money to keep, and this has been racking up after a few years of low medical expenses. It came in handy when I had to have surgery this year, I was able to pay exclusively from this account.
Credit card debt: none, I pay balances off each month
Student loan debt: $20,000; This is all from undergrad tuition: my living expenses were paid by working and some help from my parents, my grad school was paid with fellowships. Payments have been suspended during COVID. My original plan was to pay it off this year, but COVID and everything else has made me rethink that. Instead, I’ve decided to put money toward moving (with rent prices down I was able to move to a much nicer place for only a little more) and putting a hefty down payment on a reasonably priced car. With help of my bonus and tax refund I can definitely clear my debt in 2021, but I’ll wait until we know more about what Biden plans to do about student debt.
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Section Two: Income
Income Progression:
• During college: $10K-13K a year; this was through various part time jobs in retail + working at a lab at my university later in college. It wasn’t much but it paid for my living expenses. I’m really glad I worked in college, although I wish maybe I had worked a little less so I could have more of a social life. Regardless it set me up to be a lot more independent than most of my peers
• Grad school: $30K a year stipend; Right after college I went straight into grad school to get a PhD in biomedical science. Programs in this field usually cover tuition and provide a stipend since you’re working in the lab of your advisor. Tip for anyone looking at getting a PhD in this field: if a school offers you admission but won’t cover tuition and stipend through research or teaching assistantships, DON’T DO IT. It’s a red flag, plus you’re better off minimizing debt if you want to stay in academia.
• First job in biotech: $97K salary + up to 10% bonus; Once I graduated, I got a job at a biotech company on the peninsula. I didn’t negotiate because I didn’t know that I had any leverage to since I was just coming out of school. Turns out negotiating really isn’t part of the company culture and people really are paid the same market rate for the same work within the company so it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Typically get a 5% cost of living raise every year.
• Promotion early this year: $123K salary + up to 10% bonus; this was something that was expected, my boss and I had been in discussions about my work
• Unexpected raise: $135K salary + up to 10% bonus; Recently got an unexpected pay raise, I suspect this was pre-emptive since I’ve recently picked up extra work that makes me more marketable. I probably would have asked for this eventually, but they beat me to it. My company works really hard to make sure people feel well-compensated and appreciated, which really helps when the workload gets stressful.
​
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
Deductions:
• Roth 401K: $1,125 a month (10% gross salary)
• Medical/dental: covered 100% by work.
Monthly take home after deductions: $6,300
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Section Three: Expenses
Rent: $2,900; I live alone in a one bedroom apartment with my cat. Moved from a studio this summer, I would never had been able to get a place this nice (nice building, remodeled kitchen+bathroom) without the COVID rent drops.
Renters insurance: $15
Savings contribution: $1000 a month at least. Right now that goes towards a car down payment. After that, it’ll be split to extra debt repayment (to pay student loan faster) and short terms savings like for vacations.
Student loan: $300 a month (suspended due to COVID)
Donations: $175 a month; Split amongst food banks, KQED, ACLU, and planned parenthood. Every time I get a raise I pick up a new donation. I also gave about $2K this year in ad hoc donations.
Electric: ~$35 a month. Steam heat (radiator) is free in my building so this doesn’t fluctuate in winter.
Wifi: ~$35 a month
Cellphone: $110; includes iphone payment that ends in a year
Subscriptions: $50; Netflix, hulu, amazon prime, hbo max (I really should cut on of these)
Car insurance: $100; Two years ago I gave my car back to my family for my brother to use after I moved to SF, but I still came back and drove it enough for me to need to keep my own insurance on it just in case. When I buy the new car it’ll get transferred to that one.
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Day One (Monday)
8:00 a.m. — My alarm goes off, and I’m technically awake but still so tired. I cuddle with the cat and catch up on youtube for a while before I get up and make some tea.
9:00 a.m. — I settle in the start the day: mostly just triaging emails and dealing with some small tasks so I can get them off the list. I’ve been working from home since March; I work in data analysis, so my computer is my lab. For the most part it’s been pretty successful, but sometimes I fall for the lure to work in my pajamas. After about an hour of work I quickly shower and get ready for my first meeting.
12:00 p.m. — My meetings are done so I heat up lunch- today its pasta leftovers from last night, along with a coke. I spend the break watching a West Wing episode, I’ve been bingeing recently and I’m almost done!
2:30 p.m. — I hit a lull in work, so I get my bags and mask and walk to the grocery store. The best part of working from home is being able to go do errands on off hours, especially now that we’re all trying to avoid crowds. I listen to podcasts on the way over: this time I’m catching up on the Wall Street Journal Money Briefing.
2:45 p.m. — I buy my groceries for the week: ingredients for chopped salads, a few snacks, and a few frozen meals. Since I have a lot of leftover pasta to eat, I don’t need as many things as I usually do, so I use the opportunity to stock up on a few staples. You have to think ahead when you have to carry everything home every week! $48.76
3:30 p.m. — I get home an put everything away. I eat a lacey cookie and make sparkling water out of my sodastream while I settle back into work. Right now I’m doing all the prep for a big analysis coming up soon, so it’s a lighter week. Once that data comes in, I’ll be working like crazy.
6:00 p.m. — Done for the day! I decompress and play silly games on my phone, then get up to make dinner while I watch more West Wing on my iPad. Tonight’s dinner is chopped salad with romaine, cucumber, tomato, green apple, bacon, blue cheese, avocado, and balsamic dressing. I only need part of the green apple for the salad so I slice the rest to eat on the side. I also crack open a shandy to have with dinner.
8:00 p.m. — My period is coming and I have a hankering for sweets. I warm up a slice of pancake bread I got today and try a little bit of the peppermint bark liqueur I found this weekend. This combo is everything!
9:30 p.m. — I’m trying to go to bed earlier so I turn off the TV, settle into pajamas, and read before bed while cuddling with the cat. Right now I’m reading Dying: A memoir by Cory Taylor. I turn out the lights at 10 and listen to the Dear Hank & John podcast on a sleep timer.
Day One total: $48.76
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Day Two (Tuesday)
7:30 a.m. — Even though I went to bed relatively early I still wake up exhausted. I hit the snooze button a few times before getting up, making tea, and getting ready.
11:00 a.m. — Done with morning meetings so I take an early lunch, more leftover pasta. I also clean up around the house for a little while, it’s hard for me to concentrate in a messy environment.
2:00 p.m. — Feeling sluggish so I make another cup of tea before my last meeting.
3:30 p.m. — My meeting is over, so I take a minute to take care of some life admin before I get back to work. I write out my rent check, drop it off in the office downstairs, and send my mom a link to an immersion blender since she wants to know what I want for Christmas. I see Naturalizer is having a 50% off sale on boots so I buy 2 pairs. My boots wore out last season and I still haven’t replaced them. I also set up a monthly donation for the Oakland food bank (see monthly expenses). I recently got a raise and want to up my donations. Since I already give to SF food bank I thought I’d spread the love. $107.43
6:00 p.m. — The last thing I need to do for work today requires running some code for a while, so I start that before making dinner. Tonight it’s another chopped salad and some sparkling water. I eat while watching more West Wing.
8:00 p.m. — Pre-period cravings are kicking my ass (or at least that’s my excuse). I have another slice of pancake bread and some tea while browsing NPR’s 2020 book concierge and tagging books on my libby account. I also text my boyfriend for a while and we make plans to hang out later this week (standard COVID note: he also lives alone/WFH and we live in walking distance to each other, so we consider ourselves one bubble).
10:30 p.m. — I get ready for bed and read more of my book. Light’s out by 11.
Day Two total: 107.43
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Day Three (Wednesday)
7:30 a.m. — My alarm goes off, and the cat jumps into bed immediately for cuddles. We hang out for a few minutes then I get up, make tea, and start getting ready for the day.
9:00 a.m. — I start work, this morning it’s a bunch of code to review. Queue staring at my screens for three hours.
12:00 p.m. — Lunchtime! More leftover pasta, I’m getting bored of these leftovers but I don’t want to waste food. I have that and some more sparkling water.
1:00 p.m. — I recently got a new ipad, and I need to drop off the old one at Fedex to get the trade-in credit. I walk over to drop it off and enjoy the fresh air. On the way back I order a peppermint mocha from Starbucks on the mobile app. I try to order from the million independent coffee shops near my house most of the year, but the holiday drinks bring me back to Starbucks every time. During the walk I listen to podcast about Biden's cabinet picks with some interesting discussion about foreign policy. I don't know enough to have a strong opinion yet, but I would like to learn more! $5.50
4:00 p.m. — I just spent a good chunk of my afternoon talking with so many people just to make a small update to code. So frustrating! I'm tempted to make a drink to have while I finish work, but I resist and just have more sparkling water.
4:30 p.m. — I get a call from the medical center I got a procedure from last month. They said they sent me a statement, but they somehow not only got my street number wrong but also the zip code. I pay the $140 bill using money in my HSA (that's money put in by my company, so I don't count as an expense).
6:00 p.m. — I just spend way too much time ironing out another issue, I’ve earned my drink. I crack open a beer and make another chopped salad for dinner. Tonight I’m drinking a Baked Hawaii pastry stout from Temascal brewing. It’s absolutely delicious, but halfway through drinking the can I realize it’s 11% ABV!! Tonight just got interesting.
9:00 p.m. — Turns out drunk at home me isn’t that interesting: I spend the night watching West Wing and texting a friend. I’m in bed by 11ish.
Day three total: $5.50
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Day Four (Thursday)
7:30 a.m. — I get up and make tea like I always do. I decide to actually get ready properly with makeup and jewelry today so that’s new.
9:00 a.m. — Start work, this morning I’m working on an internal presentation.
11:00 a.m. — I prep an apple and peanut butter for a snack.
12:00 p.m. — I heat up the last of leftover pasta for lunch. Good, I’m really getting sick of it.
1:00 p.m. — I sit down for my meeting. I present the first half, then spend second half munching on a few sour jellybeans I had left from last week.
3:00 p.m. — I make more tea and move to the couch to finish up my workday. I also customize my imperfect produce order for next week. I don't actually get a ton of produce from them, but I really like some of their meat and dairy options. I get apples, oranges, kiwi, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, avocados, bread, salmon, chicken breast, bacon, snack cheese, and some peppermint chocolate covered pretzels. That, plus my hello fresh coming next week, will be most of my food a few weeks. Those will get charged to my account next week when they’re delivered. I try to spend $250 a month of groceries, but craft beer and fun cheese sometimes make me go over.
5:30 p.m. — I’m sick of working, so I get changed out of sweats into decent clothes and walk over to my boyfriend’s place. I stop by the market on the way over to buy tea and a can of water chestnuts (the only other thing I need for meals next week). $7.58
6:00 p.m. — I get to my boyfriend’s place just as the food delivery arrives, I get chicken tikka masala, rice, and garlic naan. I only eat half so the rest is saved for leftovers. We split a stone espresso stout and talk. Since vaccine schedules look so good and cancellation policies are great, it makes sense to consider booking a trip to Hawaii for late summer. We agree to think about it and pull the trigger before Christmas. $25 for Indian food
7:00 p.m. — I’m not a fan of the stout so I open up a cider. We settle in and watch TV
9:45 p.m. — Technically we're under a 10pm curfew, although I can't really figure out what that means this time. I'm tired anyway, so I say goodbye to my boyfriend and walk home. No one is out, so I walk home with my mask off. Something about being in nice clothes and without a mask on hits harder than it probably should. I miss normal city life so much. Just as I think that a big-ass raccoon pops up walking on the next block, which ironically never happened to me in normal city life even though it totally sounds like it would. Luckily the raccoon is more scared of me than I am of it, and I make it home in one piece.
10:30 p.m. — I make a cup of decaf tea and settle into bed. I decide to start a new book Survivor Song, I find zombie-ish apocalyptic books oddly comforting right now (finished Severance by Ling Ma a few weeks ago). This one is about a rabies-like disease, really glad that raccoon ran away earlier.
3:00 a.m. — Oops, got so engrossed with the book I stay up incredibly late to read the whole thing in one sitting. I reset my alarm to 9. WFH for my company has its perks!
Day four total: $32.58
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Day Five (Friday)
10:30 a.m. — I accidentally sleep through the alarm and wake up in a panic. It isn't the end of the world, but I still go straight to my laptop while still in pajamas and start work. There was a mini crisis early this morning that luckily I wouldn't have been much help in, but I spend the rest of the morning dealing with that and various other fires.
12:00 p.m. — I shower and get dressed. Lunch today is frozen lamb vindaloo for lunch and a coke to try and perk me up.
1:00 p.m. — I’m still predictably exhausted, so I make some tea and try to power through a task before a meeting.
3:00 p.m. —More tea and a lacey cookie before meeting.
6:00 p.m. —I still have more work to do but I'm drained, so I call it a night. I heat up last night's Indian food, grab some more sparkling water and catch up on youtube to decompress.
8:00 p.m. —I clean up a little round the house while I watch the new Grey’s Anatomy. I can’t believe I’m still watching this show.
11:00 p.m. — Watched more West Wing while curled up on the couch. I head to bed; I want to get up at a decent time.
Day five total: $0
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Day Six (Saturday)
8:00 a.m. — My alarm goes off. I stay in bed browsing the internet on my iPad.
9:00 a.m. — I get up, make some tea and prep breakfast. Today I try the pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes from Damn Delicious. My resolution this year was to make 50 new recipes and I’m on track to make it! These pancakes are fantastic, I’ll definitely make them again. I pack up the leftovers to bring to my boyfriend’s house later.
10:00 a.m. — I settle in on the couch and spend the rest of the morning playing games on my ipad and listening to podcasts.
12:30 p.m. — I jump in the shower and get ready. I’m training for when we’re back in real society again, so I actually do my hair and makeup today. Today I play with eyeshadow and do a purple smokey eye. My boyfriend texts to say that he already ate lunch so I heat up frozen lamb vindaloo for lunch.
1:30 p.m. — Time to head to my boyfriend’s house. I pack up my overnight bag and the pancakes, put my boots on, and head out. I drop my stuff off at my boyfriend’s house and we head out to walk around the city. We started doing this when the pandemic started, it’s a great way to spend the afternoon. On the walk I finally see the parrots of Telegraph hill, although we aren’t at telegraph hill. They’re really cute, but so loud, I’m glad I don’t live closer to them!
3:00 p.m. —We stop by a place to get Irish coffee but the line is massive (this is the last weekend of outdoor dining, so everyone is out). I don't want to wait in line, so we keep walking to find somewhere else to go.
3:30 p.m. — We see a Mexican restaurant and decide to stop for snacks and drinks. As a bonus the tables are really spaced out and there aren’t a ton of people seated. We want to help businesses out and enjoy a last weekend being able to eat outside, but it seems counterproductive to eat at a crowded place. We get 2 margaritas each and split some appetizers, making sure to tip extra. $51.26
5:30 p.m. — As we walk back towards my boyfriend’s apartment, we see that the cocktail bar he really wanted to try has a ton of tables available. We pick a table far away from the others and have 2 more cocktails each. I also get some garlic shrimp noodles. We each tip extra here too. $66.71
7:00 p.m. — We trudge up the hill and head to my boyfriend’s apartment. I buy some snacks and a la croix at a corner store on the way. $7.00
7:15 p.m. — We spend the rest of evening watching TV and sobering up. We end up going to bed pretty early, around 10.
Day six total: $124.97
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Day Seven (Sunday)
9:00 a.m. — I wake up and laze around in bed for a while. After I get up we eat the leftover pancakes and I help my boyfriend with some chores that require 2 people (there are a few disadvantages to living alone).
11:00 a.m. — I gather my things and walk home. Once I’m there I drop off my things, and head straight back out to grab a few items. I’m out of body wash so I walk to Walgreens to buy that and a soda. On the way home I realize I don’t have any food for today (Hello Fresh is coming tomorrow), so I pop into the deli and get a sandwich and some chips. The sandwiches are huge so it’s enough food for lunch and dinner. $27.20
3:00 p.m. — The rest of day is spent alternating between cleaning and hanging out on the couch. I look at my email to see that Aerie is doing 10 for $35 on underwear, so I fill up my cart with 10 pairs + a swimsuit and sweater. I haven’t bought any clothes this year, but now things are starting to wear out so I need to replace things all at once. $89.47
7:00 p.m. — I toast up the other half of my sandwich. I spend the rest of the evening reading and watching TV, I’m in bed by 11.
Day seven total: $116.67
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Total for week: $435.91
Grocery + Dining Out: $239.01
Fun + Entertainment: $0
Home + Health: $10
Clothes + Beauty: $196.90
Transportation: $0
Lastly, reflect on your diary: This definitely was a more expensive week than normal. I’ve been delaying buying clothing for a long time, so I finally have started to catch up. I tend to do that after I get a raise. This was also the last week of outdoor dining for SF so I used this as an excuse to eat out more, I feel so bad for all the workers about to get laid off again.
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Have a happy and safe holidays everyone!
(Edited because I found a few typos I missed when I proofread, so embarrassing! TA me from 4 years ago would be so ashamed haha)